16

from by Cool Teen

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lyrics

I'll remember you at 16
your arms wrapped tight 'round me
holding me back, fighting me back
keeping the world from me
'cause at 16
you said you were on my team
and shared hatred looked a hell of a lot like empathy

16
and all of your ferocity
just acting like the threat that
you thought you always had to be
'cause at 16
our chosen family
was dealing with its giant shared of
fucked dysfunctionalities

16
and not a day too late
blowing all our time
discussing things we hate
at 16
I didn't want to wait
because I thought that crashing young
had always truly been my fate

16
your hate manifest in me
your eyes went so soft
with scared animosity
how you'd derided
what I'd grown to be
so with your thoughts sunk deep in me
I fell asleep, so angrily

at 16
I wish I'd said don't worry
you're just starting out
at 16
I wish I'd said don't worry
you're almost home

I'm feeling real weird at the Brand New show
and I feel like I'm fading but I doubt myself because I really now
that I've been ghost-like as hell for the past four years
and making myself hide home when I would rather be out here
sitting on someone's couch and drinking their beer
I wouldn't know what to say but at least I could feel near
to other sweating friends, I feel like a thousand loose ends
bundled in a nervous brain and a thousand bloated veins
I am the memories that swell, of when you said I looked like hell
because I couldn't fall asleep, well I am trying not to dwell
so I'll text you late at night to let you know I've been alright
'cause I know that you get worried when I don't call and I don't write
I'm not trying to pretend, I'm trying to be a better friend
I'm thinking 'bout when you called me, and called me a dead-end
I am a story half-told, I am a joke over-sold
I am the absence when you're lonely, I am the wind when you are cold

credits

from With Aliens, released February 13, 2017

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Cool Teen Ithaca, New York

Not a teen, and not that cool, but still making emo singer-songwriter music about small towns, house shows and aliens.

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