saw you crying at the house show
should've said something, I know
it's like we barely know each other
and we last talked months ago
So I'll just check my phone
count the minutes 'til I'll head home

saw some old friends in the backyard
smoking cigs and talking shit
thought I'd stop by make some small talk
try to catch up for a bit
but I just looked for more beer
acted like it's not weird to be here

ran into some kids from high school
late night at the grocery store
we all knew to smile politely
and the questions to reach for
like, 'when did you get in?'
and, 'how's your semester been?'

I've been checked out of our small town
since I left and grew apart
didn't even put much effort
into friendships at the start
so now when I head back
I realize that I've lost track

I'm sorry if seeing me is strange
I'm sorry if you think I've really changed
I'm getting freaked out by the weird looks we exchange
when I'm just trying to save face and get through the night
I'm not sure where I stand in this scene
I kind of feel like I'm kind of stuck between
who I am and who I was at seventeen
and I'm not sure which you'd prefer me to be

saw you later at the house show
comparing tats and making bets
didn't have time to tell you something
in the time between the sets
it looked like you're okay
we'll catch up another day

I've been shirking explanations
that I'm scared I'll have to make
for why I never called or texted
and why you think I'm super fake
so I guess we'll just avoid
the topics that get you annoyed

your best friend said that you'd said some weird things
to try to get us in a fight
well I'm not trying to fix everything
in one agro house show night
it would be nice to make things right
so you didn't have to hate me on sight

I tried to think of how to survive
anxious house shows, here's my thoughts:
drink corona, practice self-love,
and in the end smile a lot
it's just for one night
I'll make it through alright

and if I see you one more time
I'll tell you what's been on my mind:

I'm sorry I couldn't be a better friend
I'm sorry for the texts I didn't send
I'm sorry that I maybe did pretend
that I put more effort into staying close than I did
I'm sorry for the hours that you'd spend
up late with our friendship still to mend
I'm sorry that I didn't apprehend
that leaving here meant ditching you as well